Okay..
The Return is a modern fantasy novel in the vein of Dan Brown. It starts with the discovery of a modern Templar manual, takes in a healthy dose of Vatican conspiracy, worldwide evil and ends up with the second coming.
Okay.... the problems I had with this book were numerous, extremely so. For starters, the text is bland and the characters more so. We are told that Geoff is a financier and how he stumbles upon this Templar text, but not his back story. He takes this text from a hidden library in his friend's house, doesn't mention it and is suddenly enthused with the idea of finding the Templar history for no discernible reason. There's also no reason why he thinks he's being followed.
Another issue comes with the villains. They are cardboard cut outs with no menace and the dominatrix killer nun (don't ask) is so random, I can't even think about it.
Then there's the fact that the 'last scion of Christ' plot is lifted directly from Dan Brown, in a book where Dan Brown's novel is alluded to.
And I will stop there before I begin to rant.
My recommendations for improvement are: Give the characters some initial motivation and let us get to know them. Unless you're starting the story in the middle of some action, give us some kind of intro before the story kicks off. Pace the book a little better and lay off the 'beige prose'. I cannot overly stress the importance of a good editor
**
The Return is a modern fantasy novel in the vein of Dan Brown. It starts with the discovery of a modern Templar manual, takes in a healthy dose of Vatican conspiracy, worldwide evil and ends up with the second coming.
Okay.... the problems I had with this book were numerous, extremely so. For starters, the text is bland and the characters more so. We are told that Geoff is a financier and how he stumbles upon this Templar text, but not his back story. He takes this text from a hidden library in his friend's house, doesn't mention it and is suddenly enthused with the idea of finding the Templar history for no discernible reason. There's also no reason why he thinks he's being followed.
Another issue comes with the villains. They are cardboard cut outs with no menace and the dominatrix killer nun (don't ask) is so random, I can't even think about it.
Then there's the fact that the 'last scion of Christ' plot is lifted directly from Dan Brown, in a book where Dan Brown's novel is alluded to.
And I will stop there before I begin to rant.
My recommendations for improvement are: Give the characters some initial motivation and let us get to know them. Unless you're starting the story in the middle of some action, give us some kind of intro before the story kicks off. Pace the book a little better and lay off the 'beige prose'. I cannot overly stress the importance of a good editor
**